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Saturday, October 23rd, 2010
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11:12 pm - A fluffy Halloween
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Frustration with management continues, especially since they let the manager go. This is five managers in four years. Thinking about the nearly 20 professional-level staff they fired in one three-year stint, if I add the exited support staff in, I wonder whether it would qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records of highest staff turnover?
I don't have to worry about that for another day, though. Now it's weekend time. I'm watching the Hallmark Channel's pumpkin movie. I love the Hallmark Channel. I started watching Grey's Anatomy because while flipping channels one day, I saw Katherine Heigl's face and thought, "Hey, wait - it's the women from that prairie movie with Dale Midkiff!" The guy in the pumpkin movie reminds me a little of Billy Campbell, a little Billy Crudup, but he either doesn't have a lot of range, or the direction wasn't what it could have been, because all I can really focus on is his horrible, horrible haircut. And did Shannen Doherty always have that gap between her teeth? I think this would have been better with Billy Campbell and Sela Ward. While I look forward to my happy fluffy movies, I like them to have a little more substance than dandelions.
I was able to put three library books into the Return pile, but I'd like to move the last four into that pile. I can't quite convince myself to let go of His Majesty's Dragon, which was the Foolscap novel for discussion. I didn't read it (I hardly attended Foolscap, preferring instead to cat-sit for friends who wanted to stay at the con hotel), and the premise isn't that compelling, but I miss Regency Dancing, and part of me thinks I'll feel comforted by reading about that time period.
I've also got two books about resilience (one by Reivich & Shatte, the other by Miller) and Lynn Grabhorn's Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting. And I want to read through Bill Phillips's book, Transformation, before next weekend.
My obsession with Criminal Minds went into a downward spiral when I learned that Paget Brewster and A.J. Cook were leaving the show. I'm sad that I don't look forward to each new episode as eagerly as I used to. There's really nothing on TV that I'm excited about right now. Even my interest in Glee has cooled (although I'm looking forward to the Rocky Horror episode next week). I thought Ryan Murphy said there would be fewer musical numbers and more character development this season, but it seems to me that there have been more musical numbers and the character development has been due to certain characters being spotlighted in certain episodes, rather than allowing their characters to emerge and shine from within the ensemble. I mean, I love Kurt, but I didn't much care for the dad-in-hospital episode. Maybe I'm just feeling grumpy.
current mood:  thoughtful
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| Monday, May 31st, 2010
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8:23 pm - A relatively good day (spent it with sis!)
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Mi hermana and I had our combined birthday celebration today. Every year, we go shopping at Value Village, then have lunch, then sit in the truck and smoke and talk until we're exhausted or the sun goes down, whichever comes first. Usually, we go on a Sunday, after I'm done with church. This year, we decided to wait until Monday and brave the Memorial Day 50-Percent-Off-All-Clothes sale. I'm not sure whether we'll ever do that again.
It was packed. there were no shopping carts <i>or</i> handbaskets. My sister is a pro when when it comes to shopping. She doesn't even have to try stuff on. She knows the manufacturers, the materials, the styles, and the colors that look good on her -- she can just grab and go. Me... I mostly hate shopping, but I've gotten better at it since we've been doing this yearly trip, and I don't hate it nearly as much as I used to. I picked out five blouses and only one looked yucky when I tried it on. Instead of lingering and shopping together, we pretty much got in and got out as fast as we could. It was hot and crowded and uncomfortable. I missed walking leisurely up and down the aisles, asking each others' opinions and mocking the mockable clothes.
I took her to Max's Fanno Creek Brew Pub, which my friend G-- introduced me to last December. My sister said we ought to make it part of our outing every year! I'm always happy to find a place where she likes the food, because she's such a great cook. (Something else I'm slowly getting better at. Right now, I've got a pot on the stove experimenting with a carnitas recipe. Watching Hallmark Channel happy-sappy movies while I wait to see whether it'll be edible.)
She and I weren't very close growing up. Our relationship was sometimes adversarial; mostly, though, it was nonexistent. Mom grew up having to babysit her younger sibling, and she was determined I wouldn't have to do the same. After I started school, my sister and I were sort of raised separately in the same house. We played together during the summers, ate together at dinner, and for awhile our family had Friday-night board games, but otherwise, I don't remember a lot we did together. I remember us being together on weekends, vacations and holidays -- when the whole family was together -- but I don't remember us spending any one-on-one time together. Is that weird, or what? I am so grateful we became close as adults.
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| Friday, May 28th, 2010
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3:32 pm - I cannot keep up
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A friend of mine likes to quote Lily Tomlin: "No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up." I feel like that right now.
I left LJ ages upon ages ago and moved here, and now it looks like there is yet another journal thing that people have migrated to, or are including in their updates, and I haven't logged in for ages. Snark & Bark updates came fewer and farther between, I somehow lost my Lupin-Snape mojo, and I just drifted away. Then I got into House/Wilson fic for a few weeks, then drifted off. Recently, I've been into Criminal Minds, and wowzer! Some of my favorite HP writers are writing CM fic now! That's neat. None of it seems to be on IJ, which is frustrating, because I don't want to go back to LJ, but that seems to be where all the action is.
Work sucks. Management announced that we have to give 24 hour notice if we plan to take a sick day, and we have to call around to our peers to find someone to take our shift. Excuse me? The last two times I've been too sick to report to work, it was food poisoning (at least, that is what I've been told is the actual cause of the "24-hour flu"). It came on at midnight and kept me worshipping the porcelain altar for four hours. I did not have 24 hour notice, and I certainly wouldn't be calling my coworkers between the hours of midnight to 4 AM.
I haven't been thrilled with the management for quite some time, but I love my work. I can't figure out whether to look for a new job or try to bring in some extra money freelancing and see whether I can build it up to a respectable income on the side.
To decompress from feeling like a carpet, I've been coming home and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. What an experience. When the show first ran, I thought Lorelai was feisty, funny, independent, understanding, and creative. I adored her. I hated Emily Gilmore almost as much as Lorelai did. Now, I have a lot more sympathy for Emily. I think if I had a daughter as self-absorbed as Lorelai, I would be bitchy, too. And I was blown away to learn that Kelly Bishop was Sheila in the original cast of A Chorus Line. My god, I think I listened to that soundtrack nonstop my junior year of high school.
ETA: Coming home from work the other night, the next-door neighbor and her loud, annoying four-year-old are leaving. He is shrieking and Mom is saying, "[Kid's name], quiet down, don't be so loud." As she passes me, she says, "I'm surprised you don't hear him through the fireplace." I can't let this opportunity go by. "I do," I say. She just shrugs and says, "Oh, well." (This is the same woman who, when I caught her brat banging on my front window with a stick -- which came to my attention because my cat was hissing at something [him] outside -- I went out and yelled at him to cut it out, and his mom came out and yelled at me: "There's no need to yell at him like that.")
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| Thursday, October 30th, 2008
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5:44 am - My universe expands
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I have discovered House slash. Who needs drugs to escape reality? Honestly, fanfic is a drug. I could spend a whole day clicking and reading, errands and chores be damned. I'd post links to some of my favorite fics so far, but I wrote them on the back of my voter's pamphlet, which is being used by Sweetie right now. Plus most of the writers are on LJ, which annoys me.
We had a terrific weekend: bright, clear, full of fall color, blue sky, crisp temperatures, geese honking in glorious big Vs, and now it's back to grey and dreary. And I've got a cold, or an allergy. Hard to tell which. So everything may seem a little greyer than it actually is.
Today's my Friday; last week, I had big plans for tomorrow, but then I paid a bunch of bills, which sucked the life out of my plans. Then I looked at one of my professional journals, and the quiz for 10 CEUs is due Nov 1. So I guess I'll spend a big chunk of tomorrow doing a quiz. I'm thinking it might be time to watch Pride and Prejudice again, too. I need a little romance. And I never did watch the new version of Sense and Sensibility that ran on PBS earlier this year. I wonder which one of the unmarked videotapes has it? Maybe tomorrow I'll go through old tapes and sort them into Keep and Re-record. Or maybe I'll save that task for next Monday and Tuesday when all the shows are pre-empted for election stuff. I've already voted and I'm tired of the rhetoric. I'm in wake-me-when-it's-over mode.
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| Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
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11:01 pm - Random stuff
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Since I went wimp-vegetarian five months ago (I'm still doing dairy and fish), I've discovered that I can cook stuff that doesn't suck. This is a huge triumph for someone who never thought she could cook anything more complicated than hot dogs. Yesterday I mixed some black beans, frozen corn, and fresh tomatoes with quinoa, then made a little dressing with rice vinegar, oil, cumin, chili powder, garlic salt and tabasco. It was actually more than edible. Next time, I want to use more tomatoes and salsa instead of the homemade dressing.
I love the new P.I. on House. How cool that someone who presumably sees the worst side of humanity still has a sweet sort of optimism. I was watching a L&O: SVU rerun tonight and saw that the guy playing Olivia's half-brother is the same guy playing the P.I. on House.
Reading ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif) snark_n_bark has my heart pounding in a warm and wonderful way. I love the whole Regulus Gaius thing.
Reading some fun stuff lately, with The Adversity Advantage, by Erik someone (too tired to look) who is a blind mountain climber whose adventures are absolutely bone-chilling, no pun intended.
Sweetie and I are celebrating our three-year anniversary Friday. We might go to the Shari's in Clackamas County, which has a little creek running by it where there are geese and ducks and nutria. Or we might go to Esparza's. Or La Bamba. Or Outback, which has a special going on. Sweetie was making yummy noises about the steak; I thought the shrimp looked good.
I have lost almost 30 pounds with hypnosis and last week I quit smoking. Yay!
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| Monday, September 1st, 2008
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1:15 pm - Ooo, new snake pen!
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Deep down in my soul, I'm a pragmatist. I want to know what works. I love that about Slytherins. I especially love it about Snape. So I like snake pens.
There's a lovely new one at HisNibs.com, which not only has a dragon clip but a chain-mail motif. I've always liked the chain-mail style, but I never liked the feel of the Parker Cisele, and Visconti's Camelot is sold out (and out of my league). So the Jinhao Silver Chain inspires squee at two levels.
Dani Trio's snake pens are swell, and I hope there's one in my future, but the Silver Chain is a bit more feminine in style, if not in size. Too bad it's so big. Even unposted, it would probably tire me out. But I love the feel of metal pens, how they warm in my hand and pocket.
And a snake clip with little red eyes. *sigh*
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| Monday, April 7th, 2008
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8:49 pm - Rocky Horror Picture Show revisited
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About a month ago, I learned that a friend had never been to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. In fact, he'd never even heard of it. He likes karaoke, so I thought he might like something related, so I asked if he'd like to go some night.
I got online and discovered that on April 5, the local Rocky Horror theater was celebrating 30 years of continuous Saturday night midnight showings. There was going to be a "Cabaret" performing (I'd never seen a cabaret - only audience participation) and 30-year-anniversary enthusiasm.
I sensed An Event.
I invited my friend, my cousin, my sister, their respective spouses/S.O.s, and began to get more and more excited. I haven't seen Rocky Horror since the late '70s. I've been feeling sort of bleah lately; distracted, tired, pensive, and in need of a lift. Rocky Horror sounded like just the ticket. Don't dream it; be it! It reminded me of authenticity, improvisation, passion... and fandom. Want a good time? Create one! Who needs a reason to have fun? Just make one up.
Seeing Rocky Horror with 45-year-old eyes definitely brought a different perspective than seeing it as a teenager. Columbia's outburst at the end ("You chew people up and spit them out") tugged at my heart just as it did 'way back then, but now I have so many more experiences of that. I saw Frank's amorality and hedonism with less of the teen's longing for freedom and more memories of how choices that seemed "victimless" at the time nevertheless affected others. I picked up more of the story -- I never really keyed in on some of the character relationships before. As a teen, straining at the rules, I felt conflicted about Frank's methods being labeled "too extreme." Yes, he hurt people, but he also opened doors for them; where is the line between acceptable and extreme?
Still a fascinating movie, and the audience participation is fun. I was surprised at some of the lines that had disappeared and been added over the years. Tim Curry is incredibly sexy, and I typically find cross-dressing a huge turnoff. What's up with that? Meatloaf is also incredibly sexy, and he's not just a little chubby, he's FAT. What's up with that?
Could it be that how a person feels about himself determines charisma more than "objective" markers? In the prevailing culture in the USA, that's easy to dismiss.
Or maybe charisma isn't based on how you really feel inside; what matters is what you decide to project. How you act or behave. Or maybe sometimes it's generated by genuine self-image and other times it's generated by deliberately constructed/projected self-image.
Some of the Cabaret players were conventionally attractive, but they walked hesitantly, chin down, shoulders slumped. Others were far less conventionally attractive, but moved with energy and enthusiasm, had a wide range of facial expressions, and exuded bold self-assurance. I'd say the second group had more charisma. There's more to sexuality than a pretty body.
And the virgins? Had to go up on stage and do silly things in front of the audience, like fake an orgasm (women, verbally), dance with their pants down (guys), do a celebrity imitation, pin the penis on the douchebag, roll a condom down a banana with their mouth... definitely not for the faint-hearted.
I guess I'll be going again. Not soon, because it took me all day Sunday to recover. But I had a blast and it made me think. And not.
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8:44 pm - Cats are weirdly predictable
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| Saturday, March 29th, 2008
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7:13 pm - Not dead yet post
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I went out of town for a week and when the plane landed back in Portland on Friday, the sun was shining. THANK GOD. Spring is really, truly here.
I picked up my luggage, walked out to the ground transportation island, got on the parking-lot shuttle, and it pulled out into rain-snow-hailmix.
So. From sun to snow in thirty minutes. Sometimes I hate this town. At least I got to spend three glorious days last month in Southern California among sunshine and palm trees.
I am catching up on Snark n Bark and friends list and wanting to crawl into bed and pull the covers up over my head. It has been a weird and depressing six months, although not entirely hopeless. The bank account did drop below $100, but I found a job, in my chosen field, in my chosen profession. Unfortunately, the pay is crap. And now I need to dig myself out from under a mountain of financial oops.
Which will feel so much more worthwhile when the sun moves a little farther north.
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| Sunday, October 21st, 2007
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10:56 am - Any day when the alarm clock doesn't have to ring is a good day
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I cannot believe my good fortune. It is my day off, it isn't raining, the cats are all snuggly, the end of A Chaos of Deep Passion has been posted, I don't have any appointments, I've had coffee, and there is a Red Baron thin-crust spinach and mushroom pizza in the freezer with my name on it. Payday is a mere four days away. I have a performance scheduled Wednesday night, so I'll pick up a few dollars there and be able to try ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cluegirl's chicken pie next Sunday.
I knew there was something going on between Dumbledore and Grindelwald. Dumbledore's expressions of regret over Voldemort and Grindelwald had two entirely different flavors, and I simply couldn't chalk it all up to what happened to Dumbledore's sister. I'm looking forward to rereading the books.
There is a Halloween scary-movie fest somewhere on TV, but I've been too busy to figure out where and when.
Life is good. I think I have less than $100 in the bank (I'm afraid to ask), but I am being very careful about spending and I'm slowly getting back on my feet.
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| Friday, October 5th, 2007
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3:48 pm - Setback -- ONLY a setback
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I spent two hours at Powell's today selling books. Selling OMG books I loved. My new job starts Monday, but the first paycheck won't come until after the money runs out. So I sold. Spinrad. Sturgeon. Heinlein. Delaney. Asimov. Signed copies (but not rare) of contemporary authors. Many "WTF?" moments. One of the Borderland anthologies sells for $30, but they already had a couple in stock, so I got to keep mine. I also kept Zelazny's Amber series, because they only wanted one volume, and I couldn't bear to split up a set that's been with me since high school.
I sold my Oxford Illustrated Jane Austen.
I sold books by friends.
It was horrible.
But it was sell or go hungry and watch my credit rating implode.
I kept Emma Bull, Larry Niven and Mike Hodel. I kept my rarest Asimovs. They didn't want Bradbury or Haldeman or most of my Book Club editions (of which The Void Captain's Tale was one.) YAY!!! Every time the buyer rejected a pile of books and pushed them back toward me, I gave a little cheer. The buyer said, "I wish more people were like you." They took my Book Club edition of Henry Kuttner, which hurt. They bought most of my religious nonfiction, including the Cowley imprints (*sniff*). They gave me $250. It will keep the kitties in kibble until the first paycheck comes.
I'm going to go grocery shopping and try not to think about it.
current mood: seller's remorse
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| Sunday, September 23rd, 2007
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12:04 am - Fall TV
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Fall season TV starts this week, and I'm torn between feeling excited and relieved (because I love episodic television, and thank GOD it's back) or tired (because I'll probably have to tape most of the stuff I want to see, because I'll be working nights). I did see some interesting stuff over the summer -- Criss Angel, Gene Simmons, Derren Brown -- but those weren't the dramatic, continuing-storyline narratives that I enjoy so much.
I'm thrilled to see Law & Order: Criminal Intent move to USA. I don't know who does USA's advertising, but I get a real kick out of it. The Monk/Dead Zone ads last year killed me dead, and this year's L&O:CI ads are sort of sweet. I love watching Bobby Goren puzzling over the USA logo in the corner of the screen.
I will finally get to watch House this year, because Gilmore Girls is no more. I'm glad the show has a mostly new supporting cast. I liked Wilson and Cuddy, but the rest of the cast bored me stupid. Flat, boring, whiny, obsequious, conniving... and ordinarily so. House is such an extraordinary character, I wish the rest of the cast gave him more resistance to push against. (Which may be why I like Wilson and Cuddy.)
What else am I looking forward to? CSI, you betcha. Boston Legal, cautiously. While I'm rejoicing over the casting changes at House, I'm not at all pleased by the casting changes at BL.
Waffling over Nip/Tuck; maybe I'll watch, if I remember, on nights when I can't sleep. It hit a high point for me with the Peter Dinklage arc, and after that, I lost interest. I've mostly abandoned Rescue Me because I'm more depressed than entertained by the dysfunctionality of the characters. I think when they killed brother Johnny, it killed one of the few characters I thought wasn't 99.9% screwed up. I'm also not sure about Shark. As with House, I think Shark/Woods needs stronger supporting characters to push against. There's something else, though.
I'm considering dumping Shark; I'd never dump House. Part of it is the casting. Hugh Laurie in House appeals to me more than James Woods in Shark, physically; Laurie's a bit more fun to watch. His timing, posture, facial expressions, all more interesting. But the character of House also has more emotional range than Shark; the episodes showing House's ex-wife and parents were terrific; once in awhile, we see House on his motorcycle or on the lacrosse field, and we know the meaning of those moments; his past seems more deeply layered than Shark's. House hires whores and pops pills, he betrays his friends and lashes out; he also has moments of self-reflection when I'm on the edge of my seat, thinking, "Wow, maybe he's going to do the honest, vulnerable thing just this once." Occasionally House recognizes that it might be good and possible for him to change. I like watching that struggle and rooting for the character.
Shark simply doesn't have much depth or self-reflection, as far as I can see. Which is sad, because I do love James Woods. But neither the writers nor the other cast members are fit to tie his shoes. The stories are weak, the characters are weak, and the actors (with the exception of Woods) are weak.
current mood: anticipatory
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| Sunday, September 16th, 2007
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2:12 am - The hurrieder I go, the behinder I gets
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I got to sleep today! And the world seems a lot brighter for it.
Mailed off the two promo packs and did some grocery shopping, decided on a plan of action for tomorrow, including checking up on a friend who is in deep denial about domestic abuse. Her husband had her served for abuse and the cops arrived to remove her from her home... and he is the abuser. And nearly a year ago, she was planning to leave him (after her knocked her off a ladder). I'm sick about the whole situation.
The to-do list keeps growing. Must update the professional blog, write two articles, revise some of the promo materials, and see if I can rescue any wonderful pervy_werewolf stories before they get deleted for being unlocked.
The cats are spending a lot more time curled up near me. I'm glad the weather's cooling. Still feeling worried about finances. The rice-and-beans diet is getting old.
I realized I could offer my high school alma mater a fundraiser next February when I'm in Los Angeles. Wow, that would be so much fun!
current mood:  tired
current music: some highlander thing on SciFi Channel
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| Friday, September 14th, 2007
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11:58 pm - This is your brain off sleep
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I simply cannot think straight. Holding more than two ideas in my head makes me want to lie down and cry. Thank God for Saturday.
The good news: I booked another gig this week (maybe two, but I don't call them "booked" until the ink is dry). And got two prospects.
This weekend, I need to send out two promo packs, redesign a poster, write a couple of articles, and -- if I can -- talk to another venue or two. Oh, and flip through the pile of newspapers. And recycle. And get some interview clothes. That would be Monday, though; I hate shopping, and doing it on the weekend with the rest of the world sounds like a recipe for wretched.
Need to e-mail JT and phone Brad; I want my DragonCon report! And I missed his birthday again, dammit. Must start planning February tour.
Feed cats. Go to bed. Tomorrow, read Snupin before starting work. Must start working some R&R into the schedule, somehow. Maybe Mr. T and I can finally watch the final ep of Who Wants to Be a Superhero; and John Stoessel's show from tonight. Mr. T tells me that The Pick Up Artist is broadcasting its final ep and doing a marathon. I still think it's a terrific show on salesmanship.
current mood: exhausted
current music: nighttime traffic
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| Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
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11:34 pm - Meow, aren't I cute?
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I am friggin' exhausted.
I've walked into so many bars and restaurants in the last two-and-a-half weeks, it's a damned good thing I was noting dates, times, and locations in my tape recorder; otherwise, I'd never be able to keep them straight.
I walked off today without my demo tapes, so tomorrow I get to go back to where I went today (which is partly a good thing, because someone asked for a tape). But my sister still hasn't gotten a job yet, so I was able to visit her in Wilsonville while I was scouting performance locations, and the visit lasted several hours. AWESOME. My sister is so cool. In addition to regaling me with tales about ghosthunting, telling me about her new ghosthunting class at one of the local universities, and venting about her fuckwitted neighbors, she'd found a bunch of photos of our dad from when he was stationed in Alaska in the 1950s. He looked like a movie star!
Looking at those photos -- he was way younger than I am now -- I felt sad, because I'd never known him that way. He looked so adventurous, brash, masculine -- a little like James Dean crossed with Robert Redford. When I was growing up, he worked two jobs, so I rarely saw him, and on weekends, mom kept him busy with a honey-do list. I never did figure out why she hated him so much. I never saw them hug or kiss; I never heard he speak to him (or about him) with any affection or appreciation. After I moved out, I'd occasionally have lunch with him without mom around, and he was a completely different person: funny, smart, thoughtful. I saw him so little the years before he died, because I dislike my mother so much. (She's a glass-3/4-empty type.) I don't regret it -- I know if I'd spent more time with him, he'd have acted the monosyllabic, pussy-whipped, dumb-as-a-bag-of-hammers persona he did when I saw him on holidays... but I wish we could have had more time together talking without mom around.
My sister gave me a couple of photos that were duplicates, bless her.
I took home a copy of her new project on CD, and I'll do some work on it in the next couple of days. She keeps saying she needs to do more work, but I'm pretty sure she's finished and simply doesn't know it.
The neighbor from hell moved out -- the woman whose four-year-old was taken by social services, and then another neighbor from hell gave her a kitten. A little tiny sweet kitten that was doomed as soon as she got it. I know for a fact I came across as a nosy buttinsky ("Where did you take it for shots? Have you thought about keeping it inside? Did you know that indoor cats live five to seven years longer than outdoor cats?"), but goddammit, I hate seeing animals neglected. She let it outside, and we live next to a major intersection. While she was in the process of moving (being evicted), the kitty disappeared. I hope she rots in hell.
And two nights ago, a new kitty appeared. Poor thing -- abandoned or lost, I don't know which. It either got spooked when its people were moving, and now has no way to find them, or they simply left it. It has silky fur, it's dirty, and it's stressed, because it's pulling its own fur out. It sits in front of our door and cries and cries, and my cats go berserk. It sits there most of the day and night, and loves all over me when I go outside. It loves all over Mr. Soggy, too, and he -- who dislikes cats -- keeps saying how he wishes we could keep it. It's so sad. I've been giving it water, but no food, hoping it will find someone to take it in. Mr. Soggy gave it food today, so the jig's up. Now that it knows we'll feed it, it's not going to look elsewhere. There's a no-kill cat shelter in Sherwood, so I'll take it there tomorrow. I can't afford to feed it right now -- if it were next month, or November, I could; but business sucks right now, and I simply don't have the means to take on another living creature, no matter how loving. It's a young cat, fluffy, black with white socks (adorable, in other words), so I think it stands an excellent chance of being adopted.
I hope its former owner rots in hell, too. How dare people just walk off and abandon their pets? When ex-husband left, Kitty Two began pulling her fur out. They are living creatures, with feelings (of some sort), and they need love and security. They aren't furniture.
When the hypnosis center asked if there were clients I wouldn't work with, I said I wouldn't work with anyone who abused animals. "What about children?" they asked. No problem, I said. "Oh, so if you had someone who had abused a five-year-old, you'd be okay with that?" No, I wouldn't be okay with it, but I wouldn't want to tie them to a chair and fry them with a blowtorch. Somebody who tortures or abandons an animal? Pushes so many buttons I can't see straight. No way could I work with someone on animal neglect or abandonment issues.
My heart is literally wrenched at the thought of taking the kitty to a shelter. I know it will have lots of attention from loving volunteers, and that it will be fed, out of the elements, have vet care, etc., but I so wish I could take on the responsibility myself, rather than fobbing it off on someone else. Once I've got some money, I'll put them on my donation list, of course. I'm so grateful there's a place like that when I need it. But I'm sad that I can't adopt the little sweetheart myself, right now.
Mostly, I really like people. I'm not a misanthropist. But people who hurt animals? Deserve a special place in hell.
(IJ loves us! I can't believe I looked up at the banner to see, "Tweak says Weasleycest is best!" Bwahahahaha!)
current mood:  sad
current music: traffic
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| Friday, August 31st, 2007
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1:09 am - The drinking game
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A woman walked into a bar...
I have been trying for nearly two weeks now to get a bar gig or three, and it is not going well.
I got home tonight about 11:30, ate half a package of beef jerky that had been sitting on top of my filing cabinet for several months (I abandoned Jack Links when I discovered Tillamook Smoker) and now my stomach is growling again.
I go back out again tomorrow. And Saturday, and Sunday, until I get my three gigs.
But I was too tired to work on real work when I got home tonight, so I discovered in my friends list that there's a community thanking sneugerochka lee for her moderatorship of daily deviant and of course I went to go see, because, well... SNUPIN! I am too tired now to look up any of the links - lee, lupin_snape (which I think is different here on IJ) or lee's gift community, but tomorrow morning when I can think, I'll edit this to make things linkable. Right now, the kitties are glaring daggers at me because I haven't been home to feed them for hours.
I need to get postcards in the mail soon, too. It has been nearly two weeks since the last batch, and school is starting.
current music: Coast-to-Coast with George Noory
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| Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
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1:28 am - Emma Bull
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I need to go back and read War for the Oaks. What a terrific book; one I consistently give as a gift to friends (by loaning and not expecting it back) and re-read every few years.
Right now, as I'm looking for performance space, I think it would give me a lift in a way it hasn't before. I haven't been performing very long... I'd like to see what new things I notice now that I've got more in common with Eddie McCandry.
I'm thrilled that Bull has another book out. I love her work. The only book I couldn't quite get into was Falcon, and I ought to have another go at it.
I spent too many hours tonight putting together an itinerary for tomorrow. I had intended to do it early today, but I discovered that Open Office (the version that will run on OS X 10.2.8) won't open files from NeoOffice. So I spent most of the day trying to decide which files must be converted to MS Office formats before my business laptop goes to get its optical drive fixed.
It has not been a great day. But I'm above ground. That's something!
I'll print out the itinerary tomorrow morning. My eyes burn right now and need rest.
current mood: tired
current music: cats snarfing catnip
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| Saturday, August 25th, 2007
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9:12 am - Exercise
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I spent between five and seven hours this week scouting bars for performance space. Next week, I start again, in different parts of town, and go back to this week's promising locations to talk to the managers.
I'm still wibbling over the fact that my computer has to go back to Apple. Yes, I have a backup laptop, but it is six years old and doesn't have iMovie. I can run the demo DVD over to the video editing company for backup if I really need to, but that's additional time and expense I'd rather not deal with.
It's going to be a busy weekend, and I want to play in the friending frenzy! Waah!
current mood:  busy
current music: Cats mrping in their dreams
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| Monday, August 20th, 2007
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3:00 am - Fewer than six degrees can still separate
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Yes, right now, LJ reminds me of Umbridge, as ausmac suggests.
I realize a lot (maybe most) people are staying. They've got friends and communities. Hell, I have friends and communities, and most of them are staying put.
But there's something that doesn't settle well with me when I hear that "they'd only leave it if LJ made it impossible for them personally to stay."
I usually roll my eyes when New Age folks or moral crusaders wave the kumbaya banner of "We're all interconnected in a golden glowing web of humanity, ommmmmmm," but in fandom? Yeah. We are. I've been a fan for 35 years, and there's no Six Degrees of Separation; it's more like .006. (0.666?) :-)
Everyone in fandom has been personally affected by this. Some just don't know it yet.
When I remember the (very) few boycotts and demonstrations I've participated in, none of them were for causes that affected me personally. They affected my friends. I'm a pretty straight-arrow, plain-vanilla type. Nondemonstrative. Reserved. Quiet.
But loyal.
And nothing but nothing gets me riled up more than an injustice that affects one of my friends.
Maybe the effects won't be huge. But fandom is a pretty small pond (remember the degrees of separation), so I'll wait and see.
Although it may turn out that slashers are truly the reviled element of fandom, and this will go unnoticed, because so many keep it secret; not only from family and friends, but from others in fandom. If we can't talk about it with the larger fannish community, we'll remain isolated and invisible. The issue will go unnoticed.
I remember having dinner with a bunch of fan friends -- close ones -- and telling them I'd discovered Harry Potter Porn. They laughed uproariously, and warmly, until I said, "It's slash." Every single person at the table froze, and one guy said, unbelievingly, "It is not slash."
"Yes," I said, still laughing. "It is. It's wonderful. Some of the writers must be professionals, because the prose is incredible, and the stories can make you weep. And some are hilarious. It's awesome."
"It's not slash," he repeated. "You don't want to read that."
"Yeah," another guy said. "That stuff's crap."
"But it's not," I said to everyone and no one, because they were off talking about Star Trek fanfic as though I weren't there; the subject had been intercepted and diverted.
I've no sympathy for those who take the condescending "Get a grip!" tack. We have a grip: on each other. I think it's normal and right to respond to this scattering of voices with alarm and sadness. I remember when my connection with fandom was primarily through fanzines delivered monthly or quarterly, through the mail, or as pen pals, between cons. We simply didn't have the scope we do now, neither the volume of friends (or fics, or art) or the frequency of contact. When fanzines folded for lack of funds, it was a blow. To lose touch with fellow fen is always difficult, for any reason: financial, poor health, relocation, grudges, betrayal. Or ToS.
current mood: sad
current music: Gene Simmons Family Jewels
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| Sunday, August 19th, 2007
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2:15 pm - Postcards away!
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I mailed off a bunch of postcards to drum up business for fall performance dates, and by the end of today, the demo video should be done. I don't think I want to drive out to the post office that closes at 11:00 p.m., even though it has the nicest, friendliest staff I've ever encountered. I'll wait until tomorrow and mail off the demos then. I discovered the P.O. near my house is open until 7:00 p.m., though, come to think of it, that may not be the counter hours -- it may be box hours.
Will need to check.
Printed out my application for continuing education units, and that will go off in the mail tomorrow, as well.
Right now, my stomach is growling. Perhaps a snack, then some writing, then demo work before Gene Simmons comes on.
I've added a couple more friends from LJ; haven't yet fixed my old Drips icon. I'd like to make some brand new icons, but I'm not the fastest pixel wrangler in the west, and other projects nag, nag, nag.
current mood:  pleased
current music: cat chomping kibble
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